Pain really is a pain (Re-Post)

Pain is a pain, we all know that; I know that as an irrefutable fact.

I get nervous when writing about myself; about ‘cronic-pain’ and depression, Myoclonic-jerks and falls, its personal… very personal and you can’t be sure who the audience is, who am I trying to reach; are you interested in the trials of life of a middle-aged, slightly shy male?

Pain is a pain, we all know that! It’s said that all of us will suffer back-pain sometime in our lives; if you haven’t had it yet then you’ve probably got it to come. Our hope is, that, it comes and goes in the blink of an eye, the truth is, when pain comes, it will linger for sometime and cause lost moments of living not to mention days off work.

Pain is a pain, we all know that! It’s not a pleasant thought, but, take heart in the knowledge that you may never have another episode again in your life! Unfortunately some will have repeat episodes which could go on to become cronic-pain.

Pain is a pain, In my case, it started with neck-pain and sotmach-pain, followed a month or two later,  with back-pain. That was about 18 years ago and little has changed, despite medical interventions, and, so-called, cures. Little has changed, except my state of mind!

I’ve now been offered a choice: nerve-block jabs in the spine, which was less than successful on the 3 previous occasions; spinal fusion to ‘help the pain in the leg’ or accept that today is the best it will ever be!

I had an operation before, with high hopes of success, it failed!

Pain is a pain, we all know that; 3 years ago, I was sent to a consultant regarding issues in the thoracic area… ‘It’s muscular, but, I will send you for a scan because your GP has asked for one!’ So I go for a an MRI and await the results. Some two years later and yet another consultant, looking into an unrelated issue, tells me the results. It turns out the first consultant hadn’t reviewed the scan; the very same consultant now offering, yet another, operation???

Pain is a pain, we all know that! But how far do you go to get rid of it?


Warming the cockles of my heart

Sunny day in Leicester, great to feel the warmth easing the aches and pains, ready for them to kick the crap out of me tomorrow, not doubt.

People suffering with cronic-pain will tell you just how so very frustrating life can be. It’s difficult for a non-sufferer to understand, how this daily trial that we call life, is for those in the know. You see, you cant see pain! Oh! Yes! You can see the ‘effects’ of pain written on the face of every sufferer. It may be that you don’t see someone for months, well, that’s usually because they been having a crap time of it lately.

I sometimes wonder whether its just sufferers and physicists that understand. I say ‘physicists’ because if you can comprehend black holes and dark matter or quarks and neutrinos, then, surely, you can comprehend neurons firing pain throughout your body, or should that be misfiring? If physicists do understand just what pain sufferers are going through, on a day-to-day basis, then, they will be members of a very small club indeed. for, it seems beyond the understanding of many in the medical profession.

I have been suffering from constant cronic-pain for some 18 years now, and, bit by bit, it seems to take just that little bit more of me. The most recent acquisition has been my mind.

Sometime back, and as a result of cronic-pain, I developed depression followed by ‘jerks’, you’ve all had them, you know, you are sitting watching your favourite show, when, out of nowhere, you arm shoots out or you kick the coffee table for no reason, well I developed a more severe form of the same. It was quite amusing at times and most frustrating at others; they are called Myoclonic-jerks.

Sometimes, Myoclonic-jerks become something of a self-fulfilling prophecy, the more you try not to focus on them the worse they become. In my case, they led to ‘seizure’ like episodes which, eventually, led to a week in hospital, so high on medication that I was bouncing off the walls!!!

Now, Just to be clear, I am not seeking your sympathy, far from it, there are many people who wish they had my problems! No! i’m not seeking your sympathy, I merely seek your understanding!

Imagine you have a tooth abses, the pain is all-encompassing, it’s shooting through your face, into your head and through your neck. Now imagine that pain, running, like Usain Bolt, down your body and through your legs… now smile!

‘Chin-up!’, ‘you look as though you have the weight of the World on your shoulders!’ ‘never mind, things can only get better!’

Things can only get better, um! today, I may well agree! Tomorrow? Well, we’ll see!