Richard 3rd; An APOLOGY

So King Richard lll or ‘tricky dickie’, as he is sometimes, affectionately, known as here in Leicester, is confirmed as being the bones in the car park.

The car park, at Gray Friars, is very close to the ‘Shakespeare’ public house, a short distance from the ‘Last Plantagenet’ pub and not too far from King Richard lll road. Later years, the building around the car park housed Leicester City Council Social Services department and is flanked by a considerable number of hostelries and popular bars.

Over a weekend, the area is particularly busy, with young and old partaking in copious amounts of liquid refreshments and all having to relieve themselves of ‘spent’ alcohol, mostly in the appropriate place, some, however, in all to public a  place, such as: doorways, alleyways and the odd car park.

Before I continue, I need to make it absolutely clear that I have not felt the need to relieve myself in such a public manner, on the streets of this wonderful, historic, City of Leicester!

The thought that some unsuspecting persons, let’s say, for the sake of argument, some boisterous history students from the University of Leicester, have, should we say, ‘watered’ the head of the last Plantagenet, is amusing, sad and ever so slightly sick!

Maybe now is the time for these people to search their souls in regret at such an outrageous act of humiliation against a former Monarch of the realm. It is also an appropriate time it for others, such as myself, to review their actions; how many, I wonder, have walked on Richards grave or parked their car on top of ‘Those lovely bones’? Well, it is with huge regret and shame that I, quite possibly, could have done both! (although, I can promise you, I have never danced in any part of Gray Friars car park!).

In the spirit of this momentous occasion, I would like to offer an apology to the family and friends of King Richard III for my indiscretions, in my defence I would just say that I did not notice the large ‘R’ inscribed in paint on the tarmac directly above Richard’s grave, the significance of which was, in hindsight, fairly obvious.

JSB

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